Random crap

~ It's easy to get over someone if you pretend they are not even on this earth~ They must have sucked anyways if your not with them~Or maybe they are just mean/ a bad person~

~I hate seeing people who remind me of others in stores~ "creepy"

I am loved! I feel like I belong! My boss today told me that I was apart of the family. We all went shopping for food and she bought me roses. I guess she saw me smelling them. We all went out to Burger King to eat and she bought my meal. Not a lot of bosses are as nice as mine... She said tomorrow I am aloud to finish my HW at her house. She always offers for me to stay the night if the weather is bad. I love my boss!

I have been really happy lately. Not like the days where I don't even want to live. I am trying to look forward to my short life.

W0w this was really random.

get to know me better

I like...

• Painting my nails a diff color every day.
• Going outside in the sun.
• dirt biking
• Singing
• Talking
• Movies-Any kind
• Chilling with friends and family.

Fave...

• Color- orange and black.
• Ice cream- "take the cake" and "cookie dough"
• Food-cheeseburger and fries.
• Bands-Three days grace,Staind, Soad,Bryan adams. I like everything old rock-country-pop-to alternative rock.

In a man...

• Tall-5'8 and up
• Any color hair besides red.
• Eyes-Blue, brown, or hazel
• I like big feet lol
• I like manly hands
• I like smart men
• Good on computers or something they love.
• A gentlemen
• A old school romantic
• A hard worker
• Someone who is true to me
• Someone who doesn't play heart games
• My man will love my weirdness
• Loves to cuddle and be Kinky
• Likes to hear me sing and support me

My dislikes...

• When a guy buys me flowers if we haven't been dating long
• I hate drama.. "girls"
• Moochers-people who use people for money
• parents that give their child no attention
• Dark chocolate
• Evil teachers/people

What I look like...

• 5'0
• light brown hair
• Hazel eyes.. sometimes they are gray or blue
• I got baby cheeks
• Wear a size 0-2 jeans
• can fit in a small shirt or med shirt
• I have tiny boobs, but they work
• It's said I have a nice butt
• I wear lots of diff colors "fox clothing"

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. If you'd like to get to know me more... ask and you shall receive.

Stupid dreams...

It's wrong what you did to me. Somehow you always come back to me. I know my heart needs better than you. God knows I deserve better than you.

It's weird cause I can't seem to get out of my head how much pain you've caused me. I keep having dreams about you. They suck cause your nice in them. Your not that nice in real life. You wear a mask for all to see. When you take it off you make people's heart bleed.

That's your true ugliness!

My heart may be hurting now, but I will find another man who loves me more than you'll ever know. You will see me with him and see how much you have lost! This beautiful girl won't be lonely long!

I guess it just wasn't ment to be.

I've given up!
I've given up on these silly games!
I've given up on this thing called love!

I've given up!
cause you hurt me so bad!
I'm giving up I cried to my dad.

He was right! I was blind!
The love we shared was just another one of your crimes.
~NMK~

"I like her I do! I just don't know what to do!" "I want to be with her" "I love you"

All is said and done. I thought you were the one. My one.

Some people just Don't know what they want. When they lose that one great person they go nuts. They prob say to themselves "what was I thinking I truly loved that person I left" "They are the true love I want to be with" Well you fail.

For those people above I hate to say this but I'm sorry. Anyone would be stupid to take another chance on you. People need to feel truly loved! No one wants to be told they are loved then the next week you get ignored and your loved one has someone else.

We all need to care about others feelings. It's called Karma! and oh yeah it's coming around.

smokers

Today, I got asked by a dude to go out and chill with him during brake. I went along cause he's chill and all. I am allergic to smoke. Never tried a cig, never will.

I love going outside with the smokers though! they always think of the best things to talk about. We had a 15min convo about how a women brought her daughter that was a dwarf into class. We had to do presentations on the holocaust! she brought her daughter in and put her on the center of the table. I thought this was vary mean. She said that "I love my daughter more than the others cause she is tiny and will depend on me more!" I about wanted to punch this lady...

Anyways the whole group of smokers were talking about how mean it was to show her she is really different and privileged/ loved more than her other children.

I am a short person. I would not want my mom to bring to me college and show me off.

wo0w!! way off topic.

I always go out with the smokers, stand there and talk /listen to the awesome 5-15min convos.

life has it's ups and downs

Today at work I got called a retard and a little boy threatened to take my life! Scary. I work with a boy with special needs who likes to call me names and beat on me. I am not going to take shit from an 8 year old!

Anyways today I had a heart to heart with the boy I watch and he opened up and asked me to stay and hangout with him. So my day ended up nicely :D

Like I said life has it's ups and downs.

So blind

I have been hurt by a lot of people... but one always seems to come back and haunt me.

Have you've ever had your emotions toyed with?
Have you ever been told I love you then a week later they don't love you?
have you ever felt so loved then abandoned?

I have. It's not a good feeling at all. it makes you broken in a way.

When you are with someone or want to be with someone don't let them toy with your emotions! A heart is a vary fragile thing. It is not met to be broken or stabbed. When I am older I want to have that love you see when old people are holding hands. I don't want to be in a relationship where one day he loves me than the next day he wants nothing to do with me. Some old people have it good! :D

Anyways... When a person who you think you love and says they love you back playes with your emotions.. THEY DON"T LOVE YOU. you need to move on and you will find someone who loves you as much as you love them.

Karma sucks.....

can people really change?

I had this feeling that maybe it could be different this time.. Some of my loved ones did do. My best friend Called me in shock! She saw something about you and she was pissed. She didn't want to tell me right away but she's a true friend. I felt broken.... I thought things were different this time around.

I've been hurt by tons of stupid people. It's my fault I guess for keep giving them chances. People can say they change and then show it for a bit, but can they? I've asked myself this a lot.

I was happy. I haven't said that in awhile. I mean really happy. My best friend even said I was smiling and had joy on the phone. After being hurt I was unhappy I smashed up wood in the back yard with an axe and I cryed until my makeup ran down my face. I went shopping to get my mind of my pain. I didn't even buy anything.

I woke up today and noticed I'm crazy! I am crazy for believing that people can change. Especially people who have hurt me in the past.. It is a pattern. It's done. I am a good person and I need to be happy again. I will no longer have a healed than bruised heart.

I<3 myself a little more than I thought.