errrrrr

Today is thanksgiving. it was not so good.

I went into a deep depression. I have not been in one of those for a long time. In one of my older post I talked about my sisters kid and how she is a monster. Today my sister told me she is due for another one... WTH.

I think my sister likes the baby stage. She gives her 4 year old no attention and anything she wants. She never disaplines her. My niece always says hurtful things like
*I hate you
*You r dumb
*Go die
* I don't need you

This is bad for a child. I don't even have kids yet but anyone with common sence can see this is BAD. My niece hits and spits at people. If my sister and her new husband keep raising Her like that she will be a mess when she is 12, prob pego and smoking.

I hate that she is having another kid when she is practicing bad parenting skills on her current child. She and her husband have no house and live with my parents. Her husband jumps job to job.

God help us all!

He was just like you

It was what I always wanted.

*He held my hand
*Opend doors for me
*brought me on dates
*called me is gf
* Take care of me when I was sick
*cuddle me until midnight
*Told me I was beautiful
*Told me he loved me
*Told me he wanted to marry me

I know you are different. You do all those things but you keep doing those things. You always tell me I LOVE YOU. It's so nice that you prove to me that you will always be there for me and that you will never change.

I am vary happy that I know you and have you in my life. I love you so much. I hope that when you said "I'll prove to you how much I love you on christmas" that you were saying I will propose to you and I will marry you.

:D My best friend KF tells me that she thinks you are my forever and for always. I would be happy with you the rest of my life. YOU would be the only one I would have kids with. I never wanted kids until I ment you.

why?

Hey there. I know I haven't wrote in a long time. Reasons for this
*work
*new man
*to much going on

I am so upset lately! People who are close to me keep pushing my feelings aside. I told my mom how I was being mistreated. She said "I don't want to hear about it" wtf! theres people at church and one of my family members who tell her their stories all the time. Not once has she said "i don't want to hear about it" Even though those people make her depressed and she wants to feel needed. I need her and she isn't there for me. I think that this is messed up.

When something is wrong I have to go to my bf or best friend for help and vent. I should be able to talk to my close family to. :/ I am so upset. I caught myself starting to tear up and I'm starting to feel ignored and unwanted. My feelings always get pushed aside.. But why?

This blog is a good way to vent. I think I am going to start posting in here again.